im gay
i know
yea but for you.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
