we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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