we have officially lost it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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