You can't special order awesome
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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