You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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