I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize