the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
