you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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