i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
