i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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