u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
