Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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