I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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