Where is the hickey?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
