people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize
