how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
