How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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