What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize