We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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