mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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