Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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