spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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