Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
