i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
do nipples grow back?
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