oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
