hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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