That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
