what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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