I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
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She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
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Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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