Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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