So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My life is pants optional.
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