When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I could fuck to npr.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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