ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
