is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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