I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
