I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
