Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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