I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
