Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
