it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
