can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
