idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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