i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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