Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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