You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
