I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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