'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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