its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
