If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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