.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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