Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
