Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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