So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
