Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
