Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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