S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize